Monday, May 9, 2011
I confess.
Just so we're all clear. I am not this happy person that I seem like when I write. I told a friend the reason I blog is so I can mask who I am and that maybe I'll actually like the person that writes all this great and encouraging stuff. I am typically a Debbie Downer, a Melancholy Molly, a Judy Attitudy, a Negative Nancy, or maybe even a Sassy Susie. If anyone knows me personally and reads my blog, please know I'm trying to be this person. Not the person you see face to face. I'm trying to figure out how to be happy on my own. I'm brawling with my own lack of confidence. I have none of this figured out, so please don't think it's all just a front. I was pretty hurt when I was told that. I know how bad it sucks to not ever think you're good looking. I've been there looking in the mirror hating everything I see. I'm trying to get better so I can hopefully show someone that you don't have to hate who you are, or wallow in self pity like I do regularly. So...now you know.
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i used to hate what i saw when i looked in the mirror. i used to hate that people never took the chance to know me because of what i look like. after years of hating me, i woke up one day and just thought you know what i am me. if you dont like who i am and dont want to know me because of what i look like, then thats your problem. now im not saying that i dont have my moments where i wish i was different. i still have my moments where i like to imagine how different my life would be if i was thinner or muscular, friends i would have, girls that i could get, but then i realize that that wouldn't make me truly be happy. if i cant get them the way i am, than i dont need them.
ReplyDeleteyou are a very beautifal and woderful person. and i just want to say that i appreciate you for everything i know of you and everything you have done for me. i wish that some day you will be able to look in the mirror and see the girl i see.
Oh, sweet Storm. You just don't see how beautiful you are. Those are not just words. You really are. One day, I hope you see with your eyes the beautiful young woman the rest of us see.
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