Blah blah, fucking blah.

Excuse the initial obscenities, please.
 (As much as I hate to go into some sort of negative rant, that's exactly what I'm about to do. So I thoroughly apologize.)

I am so sick and tired of putting people on pedestals in my life, and giving them my time and consideration, only to be left by the way side to crash and burn alone. And that's why I can't post anything upbeat or inspirational. It's hard to even pretend to be happy when you're utterly miserable. It's kind of like, my world is moving on without me. My life is continuing and I am not making the executive decisions here! And I think it may possibly be on repeat everyday. Hence why everything feels so..."blah". Unappreciative people can make you feel lower than a blatant asshole any day, and when it happens continually it's probably worse than your occasion herpes flare up. I'd love to be able to sit here ant type fantastic words of wisdom and hope...but I just can't.

Now what?

It seems I have reach that point in my life where I have no idea where to go, who to talk to, or just what the hell I am supposed to be doing with my life. I'd say I'm at an utter stand still. Again, I haven't posted in a while because I don't think many people really care about what I have to say. But I suppose I'll continue trying to post as much as I can. Blogging can actually be quite the challenge, because obviously I kinda suck at it. But alas I just wanted to finally verbalize my feelings of being lost and confused, because maybe someone out there can save me.

I love myself. So what?

Ahhhh guys I am beyond sorry I haven't posted anything in over a month. This month has been pretty awful, I have been learning to take my own advice. But I will say the one thing that's made this interesting is that I got my mop chopped, and that's been quite the doozy for some people. As you can see I have the before and after pictures, feed back is welcome! And the thing I've been working on the most is loving myself. My gooood friend Bret has been helping with that every bit of the way. If that's an issue for you, I'd say find a good friend who'll help you in any way. And I guess that's the main focus of this post. Do different things with your appearance until you're happy with who you are. It never matters what people say to or about you, the truth is what you believe to be true. This is a short and belated post but I just wanted to let you know I'm still here and will get my shit straight.

Remember That I Love You.

The song that's on my mind tonight (this morning?) is So Nice So Smart by Kimya Dawson. Mainly because of the chorus. I don't have any great words of wisdom tonight, just a heavy heart. It seems as of late the bad days outweigh the good ones. And it's easy to write about how to get happy when you are happy. But on days like today, I just can't help but to get down and out. And what's worse is when you just don't know how to deal with it, like me. So I'd really like for someone, ANYONE to feel free to jump in and save the day with some sort of mystical powers. I doubt I'll be posting much in the near future, regretfully. Sorry guys.

I confess.

Just so we're all clear. I am not this happy person that I seem like when I write. I told a friend the reason I blog is so I can mask who I am and that maybe I'll actually like the person that writes all this great and encouraging stuff. I am typically a Debbie Downer, a Melancholy Molly, a Judy Attitudy, a Negative Nancy, or maybe even a Sassy Susie. If anyone knows me personally and reads my blog, please know I'm trying to be this person. Not the person you see face to face. I'm trying to figure out how to be happy on my own. I'm brawling with my own lack of confidence. I have none of this figured out, so please don't think it's all just a front. I was pretty hurt when I was told that. I know how bad it sucks to not ever think you're good looking. I've been there looking in the mirror hating everything I see. I'm trying to get better so I can hopefully show someone that you don't have to hate who you are, or wallow in self pity like I do regularly. So...now you know.

The Harsh Truth Is...

You're only as pretty as you feel. It doesn't matter what you ACTUALLY look like to other people by any means. If you don't feel good about yourself , nothing else matters. People can tell you that you look stunning but it seems insignificant and petty. So to build up some self esteem (which is something I've always battled), when you get out of the shower go look at yourself. Seriously, a solid minute or two. And every time that you do this name one thing you don't entirely hate about yourself. Eventually it will turn into things you love about yourself.  The deal is, when you've just got out of the shower you are totally exposed and uncensored. If you can find something good out of all the bad, then it must not be so bad. Most of us can't stand to look at ourselves naked for more than maybe 15 seconds. During this time you can also use constructive criticism. Don't talk down on yourself, just things like "I'd really like to tone my thighs up, so I should jog more." That is probably an unrealistic sentence, but it's a great start. Only positive thoughts. This is also something I've done and I must admit, I currently hate being clothed. So it obviously has done me a great bit of good. Let me know how it works for those of you who actually attempt it!

Here's the secret to being happy.

Get stable, reliable people in your life that you can trust. Done.

Awesome Thing Of The Day: Fan Remote Control

This is an exact picture of my remote. Be jealous.

So today I played hooky from all my responsibilities because I am sick. And when I am sick I am as helpless and lazy as a newborn. Most of my day was spent wallowing in bed wondering why I felt so horrible, and then in between my pity rants, sleeping. As the day trudged on it got outrageously hot in my room and I MUST be under my blanket when in my bed. This posed quite the problem since my light switch is a good...6 feet away. And I was not about to get up for anything. I couldn't possibly take any time away from my self pity to simply get up and turn on my fan. I look to my left and what do I see? The most beautiful piece of technology ever.  My fan/light remote controller. So thank you Hampton Bay for enabling my (and the rest of America's)  lackadaisical habits.

Song of the day for this post- The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars. Oh yes.

How To: Get In A Good Mood #4

One of the coolest things happened to me today. An old friend of mine texted me just to let me know that he enjoyed reading my blog and that he missed me. And the we proceeded to have a great conversation over Skype. And I was in a terribly pissy mood beforehand so it most definitely made things much better. It was so great reconnecting with an old friend and just seeing how each other had changed. So if there is someone who isn't in your life as much as you'd like them to be, shoot them a text, email, facebook message...any sort of communication would probably be okay. Better yet, plan a coffee date or some small gathering. It will do wonders for the soul. Thank you, Chris!

Non-Awesome Thing Of The Day: Bra

This probably shouldn't be posted on the internet, but I don't care. I have a serious disdain for that particular piece of undergarmentry seen above (probably not even a real word). So check it, just sitting around minding my own business and the life-less piece of fabric decides it does not want to be joined. And separates! Behind my very back! Life would just be a LOT easier with out them. I did nothing to deserve that betrayal, brassiere. I'm onto your game. Eventually, you'll be obsolete anyway.

How To: Get In A Good Mood #3

Another way I have found that is an instant mood lifter is breaking up your routine.Your brain can get used to doing the same dull thing everyday so this is basically throwing it for a curve ball.  If you have the same old cup o' joe in the morning, wake up a little bit early and go to your local cafe for some fancy caffeine. If you usually wear your hair straight, curl it one morning and see people's reactions! I've done that one a lot, and the feed back was lovely. Wear a lot of jeans? Try going to a consignment store and getting a cute summer dress and showing off your legs! Or for guys, change the style of your facial hair. It can grow back pretty easily and there are some pretty cool ways to style a beard. Some of my favorites are definitely muttonchops or handle bar mustache.  Any change is welcome in this case! There are millions of ways to play this card, and no change is too small or too big. So do something different, for yourself. I can promise this will help.

How To: Get In A Good Mood #2

Music can have unfathomable effects on your mind and mood. It is our human nature that when we're in a bad mood to listen to bad music. Bad breakup? You'll listen to every sappy breakup song on earth? Friend stabbed you in the back? Every angry song you can think of. It's ONLY natural to do that. But it's also self destructive. With that being said I'll Give you some songs that are my favorites at boosting my mood instantly. Also...cause I really like hyperlinking things. :)

1.5 Years Time- Noah and The Whale
2. Scenic World- Beirut
3. Alphabet Aerobics- Blackalicious
4.The Second That You Say- Chase Coy
5. Lust For Life- Girls
6. I can't possibly link EVERY song by Kimya Dawson, but they're all awesome.
7. On that note, every song by Matt and Kim are awesome. But especially, Lessons Learned.

And SO many more. But those are just a few of my favorites.

How To: Get In A Good Mood #1

Step number one to getting into good moods (from my personal experience) is to make a joke out of whatever is upsetting you.If it's the way you look, put on some ruby red lipstick and some bright blue eyeshadow and prance around like a princess. Photoshop is also a great tool if you wanna dress silly but can't. (See above picture, all rights belong to Ginger) Use your imagination to turn someone into an ant you can smush if they have one more rude comment for you. Have a 5 year old's mind when it comes to playing outside. Don't be afraid to spin in circles until you can no longer stand it; or laugh so hard about something so elementary that you can't breathe. I'll hopefully have MANY more of these tips up soon, because they have saved my life.

Harharhar

Well fifteen minutes after posting my first ever blog I realized I have no earthly idea how to do this whatsoever. And that I need help. Lots and lots o' help. So whether or not you're my friend on facebook, or you may have just stumbled upon my little corner of the internet, I want feedback. What I can do better, blog post ideas, pictures you want me to draw, etc. Also, on another side note I like hyperlinking things A LOT. They make life easier, literally. So if you have some cool sites for me to link Please Please Please Share! I seriously have my work cut out for me.

This Is Scary Stuff

Let's start with my name. It's Storm. Now as for what comes next, who knows? I'm writing this blog to start keeping a score of the things that make me feel bad, ugly, or  just not confident. Then hopefully I can find a way to turn it around and it be useful for someone else. Or maybe one day I'll post a blog with lots of lists. I like making lists. And going on side tangents, so bear with me. This blog is based off of my feeling towards Kimya Dawson's song I Like Giants. It is my entire inspiration for bettering myself. And for loving myself even when I knew other people didn't love me. So this is day one. If nothing else, just give the song a listen and look at the lyrics ladies. What are some of your inspirational songs? Share!